An Open Letter to the Dreamy Girl

Oh dreamy girl!
Quit dreaming about the hunk you saw on a magazine and imagining one like him is all you deserve.
Oh dreamy girl!
I'm not saying it isn't possible, but why is it's his type all you admire?
You talk about body positivity and how your complexion isn't a scale of your beauty, because all women are beautiful in their own way.
You speak of the number on the scale not being worthy enough to force you to go skinny to be declared pretty, because all women are pretty irregardless of their weight.
You believe height, size, figure and the other features should not be used to judge you, because beauty comes from within.
Than dreamy girl why is that all your dreams revolve around the image of a macho muscleman who looks no less than the movie stars or singers you fangirl over?
Why is it so that you believe that the body and the looks matter more than your dream guy being the gentleman who respects you for who you are and loves you alone?
Don't go on telling me you expect your hunk to be a gentleman too. I'm not saying that's not possible but why do you chase perfection when you expect me to not do the same?
Why does the length of my beard bother you so much when you choose to worship your own bodyhair?
Why does my haircut not please you when you can choose to style yours as you wish?
Why does having abs make me a man when for you the curves are not more important than the one set on your face?
I'm not saying I'm right or you're wrong. I'm just saying everyone is different and that's what makes them unique. If you believe in this for yourself, then why not for me?
My sense of style could differ from yours and yours could differ from mine. I'm not asking you to appreciate me for what I choose, I'm just asking you to not expect the same from everyone.
For you growing up meant grooming up well, but sometimes you hated the choices made for you. You hated how the rishta aunty's preferences structured the changes in your life. Then what about me? Why is it so that to touch your heart I need to go against my conscience?
If you're discombobulated and disturbed by how judgemental the society is, so am I.
If those of my gender judge yours, then the case is same for the reverse too.
Why is that you set standards for the right guy for you, that all purely materialistic?
And your materialism isn't just confined to directing my path to a gym, a saloon or a garment store, to dress and look like what pleases you. Your materialism crosses those boundaries too.
You question your parents for their decisions about your life and you plead it's your right to fulfill your dreams.
Then why are my dreams lost somewhere down the road of establishing myself well enough to be illegible for marriage?
Can I not dream? Can I not have goals? Goals that aren't all centred around becoming a millionaire. Your will to only choose a guy who's pocket is filled till the top, guides me to do what the world demands, what you demand, not what I want.
If you aren't supposed to be capable of performing all household chores efficiently to be able to get married, why is it so that I need to be capable of materialistically treating you like a princess? Why is the love in my heart not enough to tell you you're my queen?
Why is it so that you oppose jahaiz/dowry but when you look at your potential groom you basically focus on what he earns more than who he is?
You tell me you love your family, and it's tough for you to follow the society's norm of moving out of the place you grew up in to settle down with me. You tell me you want to pay visits to them and you expect me to be like a son to your parents and like a brother to your siblings. But why is it so that as soon as you step in my house you refuse to believe in the same for my family? To love my parents like yours, to care about my siblings like your own ones. I understand it's tough for you to settle in a new place, and I agree it's a little unfair of you being the one having to leave your family. But does that mean the moment you step in my house you plan to strip me off mine too?
I'm not saying dreamy girl you are wrong, I'm just saying stop imagining everyone as the one from your dreamland. It's okay if you aren't happy to be with me and want someone else to clasp your hand, but stop setting standards for my gender too, if you can't stand them for yours.
I want to meet a woman who grabs my hand and chooses to love me for being myself, it is true that I need a life partner too but does that mean I need to loose myself in this process?
Your idea of the perfect guy makes me chase after stuff I never had on my to-do-list. Yes it's true I too long for having a ladylove, but for that do I need to overlook my own choices.
Your idea of the perfect makes me adopt things, I'd never even thought would shape my life. Just to find the right partner for myself all this I do, wondering if she actually is the right one?
Shouldn't she be who chose me above perceptions of perfection or should be who makes me loose my own individuality? I wonder and then I end up agreeing to what you want. Because you know at a stage in life each man longs to have a woman by his side, and the fear of being rejected forever, guides me to become the guy I never wanted to be.