Stemming from the post:
https://www.instagram.com/p/DMTURNatFex7mSVj-lnLw44KXrRF_otivctpH80/?igsh=MThuZGF5MTFjMTBzaQ==
This might sound a little strange, but I’ve been thinking a lot about how we’ve come to normalize ignorance — and not just normalize it, but position it as something acceptable, even admirable. We’re constantly told to be the “bigger person,” to not take things personally, to process difficult interactions with grace. And while all of that makes sense in moderation, we’ve taken it so far that we’ve turned numbness into a virtue.
We treat kindness, consideration, and selflessness as anomalies. We make those who express care feel like they're overstepping. Somewhere along the way, we decided that being emotionally distant is a strength, and that warmth is weakness. That if you’re expressive, present, giving — you’re too much.
People speak as though withholding connection is noble. That valuing yourself means limiting what you offer to others. But when did valuing yourself become synonymous with being unkind? When did we start calling arrogance “self-worth”? The line between confidence and narcissism has been blurred to the point of absurdity. And instead of questioning it, we reward it.
It’s not just about interpersonal ties either. This rigidity seeps into everything — friendships, workplace hierarchies, even family dynamics. We've built invisible ladders of expression, where seniors, parents, or even peers learn to hold back sincerity to maintain some sense of superiority. It's no longer just about respect — it's about control.
What baffles me is how natural we’ve made it feel to manage people, to control narratives, to guard our expressions not out of integrity, but out of strategy. As if connection is a transaction to be negotiated. As if being honest about your feelings will somehow lower your value.
We’ve started treating emotional expression like a limited resource. The less you give, the more you're worth. The moment you become available, you're disposable. And honestly, that sounds less like human connection and more like a concept straight out of an economics textbook.
Low supply = high demand.
Don’t be too responsive.
Don’t care too loudly.
Don’t give too freely.
We’ve applied market theory to our feelings. We’ve constructed an emotional economy where sincerity is undervalued and distance is a premium good. And the saddest part is that we’ve justified it all. We’ve over-explained manipulation until it sounds like wisdom. We’ve turned strategy into morality.
But here's the thing: if someone is sensitive, expressive, or soft-hearted, why do we treat that as something to fix? Why do we shame the very qualities we should be protecting? Since when did empathy become a liability? Since when did restraint become the gold standard for human connection?
Why are we pushing this narrative?
Why are we still pretending that deprivation creates depth?
And why aren’t we talking more about the fact that the real issue isn’t how kindness is shown — it’s how it’s received in a world that no longer knows what to do with it?
