Overboard. Sometimes you do go overboard. You say a little too much then you should. You feel a little too much than you should. You do a little too much than you should. Sometimes you do go overboard. And for some this is unsettling. They see how you do and believe you shouldn’t. And sometimes these people include all but a few. Does that mean you should stop listening to all of them? Or to the few that are different? Neither. You should listen to neither because you know yourself best.
Even the one who claims to know you the most, knows you the least. Even the one who believes they are entitled to know you the most, doesn’t know everything after all. And then those who know a lot, a bit and somewhere in between, they all form opinions about you. They all perceive they know what’s best, for you and about you. But that’s the thing, they only perceive things to be such. In reality, no-one really knows you completely, even the one who believes they know you in and out. Because no-one is YOU. And no matter what anyone says, no-one really knows what all goes on around you and within you. They don’t know what you see, they don’t know what you feel and they don’t know what you think. They are only aware of what they choose to see, feel and think about you. And sometimes that too is limited by how much you want them to see, feel and think about you.
Your level of expression has a limit. Their level of perception has another. Neither of which are fully aware of the other’s limits. You both guesstimate, leaving everything else to how the other chooses to express. But they don’t know you, and never will. You will either choose to limit that, or they will to understand. And sometimes both will happen simultaneously, reducing everything to an even smaller extent.
So yes you do go overboard. You are over-sensitive. And you do overthink. You are all that and a lot more. You know this and so do they. But they don’t know why and you do. Everything you experience is always unique and yet is linked to something in the past somehow. So each time you face something new, your mind redirects you to a lesson from before, and you react, differently. Differently? Yes different for those who don’t know you. Odd for those who don’t know you. And no-one really knows you, so yes precisely surprising for many, because they expected something else. But only you know what was going through your mind. Only you know why you reacted how you reacted. So just breathe. Listen to them. Ponder. Consider if anything they say may help. But don’t let their beliefs doubt you yourself. You know what you did and why. Maybe you could’ve done better. If YOU feel such, than try again next time. But if only they feel such then don’t. No not because they are wrong. But because they don’t know you. They don’t know why all that they say isn’t easy for you to align yourself with.
You do go overboard and you should stop. You are insecure and you shouldn’t be. You are too quick to react and you shouldn’t. You lose your calm and you shouldn’t. But none of that is your “problem” or your “fault”. Your experiences have tuned you to behave in certain ways. And maybe they’re right about what they think. But they still don’t know you. They can only say, and it might only hurt. But they can’t understand, because they’re not YOU. They haven’t been through the same.
Don’t hate yourself for what you’ve gone through.
Don’t hate yourself for what it has done to you.
Don’t hate yourself because you disappointed someone.
Chin up. Look straight. Take a deep breath. And try again.
Be yourself and still work on being the best version of yourself.
Try to evolve for the better, for yourself. Not for someone else.
