12 Rids of Christmas

Christmas worldwide is a day of giving, both love and gifts. It marks the most awaited holiday of the year that spreads the warmth of affection and cheerfulness, as if all of people's worries are frozen inside the snow that caps their houses during this time of the year. Heading home for the vacations and cracking jokes with family and friends over dinner tables remains to be the annual tradition. So while we free ourselves of all other affairs to take some time out for ourselves and and our loved ones, this time free yourself of something more too. To be precise free yourself from the existence of certain types of people in your little jaunty worlds. Presenting the 12 Rids of Christmas, time to have you pull out your pens and pads and enlist the names you want to cross-out from your lives forever, for good.

Pessimism Pot
For obvious reasons one of the essentials of growing up is to embrace things as they come. To understand that acceptance is your only sane way out of life's misfortunes. And while most of gradually tend to let this sink in gradually, we let some "pessimism pots" stay in our lives. The distractions these people can cause with their negative approach while you yourself are still developing the positive one can mess up your thought process. So this Christmas, the first category of people you need to bid farewell to are the ones who breed in pessimistic zones.

Buck-Eater
If this friend were an animal they'd be chameleons, nope not because they constantly change their ways but because of their nature of being adept at camouflaging themselves. This is the type that stays hidden within your social circle unless some unforeseen events occur. Thus it is quite possible that you may have not identified the ones in your own till now, but the moment you do, this is the person you'd never want to keep close, unless you choose to remain vulnerable. The "buck-eater" is a kind of human pest that feeds on cash. Their standards of friendship remain as shallow as your willingness to spend on them or the ways they wish. The moment your refuse they will be the first ones to call out your name, make your existence in any social gathering miserable because your refused to let them seep into your pocket. Friends are the kind of people you love to spend on, but if this choice becomes a compulsion, then you probably need to get rid of such friends.

Getatabe-lity Seeker
We all have a friend who practically seems to always be busy, but then we all also have that friend who treats you more like their favorite pastime. The friend that seeks your attention or returns some too, only when they've nothing better to do currently. Even though understanding people's lives, schedules and priorities change is a part of the rules of adulthood, to choose to have the status of an avocation in someone's life isn't. So if you feel you're more like the Christmas sweater for them that they wear once a year, it is time you get rid of them like the Christmas tree you never bring back home next year.

Human Pendulum
It is human nature to adapt to changing circumstances. A chameleon's characteristics are not desirable in life but general adaption towards changing situations and stages in life is actually a good thing. As one grows up it is also normal to experience changes in your social circle and how you interact with these people. But what isn't normal is to be friends with someone whose life choices are more volatile than Helium. Be it your relationship with them or any other element in their life, these people refrain from commitment and runaway from the concept of loyalty. You will have the hardest time maintaining a healthy and pleasant relationship with such people. You will often find yourself questioning the bonding you two share and the dubiousness may lead to both of you sharing uneasy moments if you try to set things straight. Your only relief is to let them be and walk away on a good note with minimum possible unpleasant memories.

Relationship Rooster
So relationships for some are a stage in life and for some are like phases they go through. But for some relationships are the soul thing their life revolves around. And it doesn't matter if you're a single friend who feels lonelier when he/she spots other couples in the hood, the third wheel who is gladly single and embraces the fact with all dignity that many of his/her friends are not or you're in a healthy relationship yourself. No matter which category you belong to, a friend that basically eats, sleeps and breathes relationship conversions, belongs to the category of least productive people on planet earth. If you've better plans in life than remaining stagnant in relationship issues, you better rid yourself of the person who pulls you to that side with their insanely obsessive ways of dealing with relationships.

Bipolar
In medical terms this is an actual disorder but for some people behaving in a manner analogous to a see-saw is the usual. These indecisive people will never be completely expressive nor will leave you completely sure about the equation they share with you. The sort of relationship they will have with you will make it tough for you to ever progress, because these people are not confused, they're clear about their thoughts but they refuse to stick with one choice. They know their options and they will prefer to act tipsy and unprepared whenever they need to pick one. As time progresses they will not be afraid to jump on another stump that seems more profitable for them at that moment. So before they start to go out in search of their new safe haven, it is time you find our own new one.

Fame Freak
We all tend to seek attention from at least a handful of people in our lives. An the fact is most of these people are the ones we don't expect to be told we want this from them, but believe we should hold such a place in their lives where it tends to count as our right and their unsaid responsibility. But while seeking attention to this extent remains to be a healthy and regular matter, the one that exceeds these general boundaries turns into a lust for eyeballs, more like websites trying to work on their marketing strategies. Affiliation with this sort of a person is equivalent to making yourself liable to be deserted any moment, whenever their fame level seems to twitch. Sincerity is a word these people are least familiar with, so before they sight you as a factor effecting their popularity levels in a detrimental way, lead yourself to the exit door from their world.

Renegade
Rebelling against archaic ways is often another way of progressing. But it remains vital to understand that many times the rebellious extinct that we all develop as young teenagers does not always bear fruitful results. This is another one of that lessons that we learn growing up. But many of us fail to develop that level of stability in our behavior. Your social circle will often have that one person that is more reactive than fluorine, ever ready to jump to conclusions, pounce on others and take the most bizarre and regrettable decisions. This is the kind of person who doesn't effect you directly but their company surely can have adverse effects on your own nature. Distancing yourself from such people might be a wise choice.

Guerrilla
At some stage in life we all deal with anger management issues and to be honest we don't deserve to be deserted at that time. But if that stage is much more than just one and this attitude is probably our nature, then keeping up with us can be tough for others. And not only tough but trying to understand and be supportive towards such people can sometimes land you in their situation as you begin to grow tired of trying to lead them out of their anger bubbles. You may find yourself being more hyper than usual, loosing temper unnecessarily in social settings where you need to share space with such people. You may even tend to realize how slowly you're picking up their habits in efforts to deal with them. So before such social service turns out to be unhealthy for you, conclude that such people may never change, and if you still have issues with them remaining such, it's better you move on in life, before their characteristics begin to chase you.

Clencher
Well at least one person in our lives could describe us as clingy, but to be honest, that may not always be in a negative. But surely you would have one such person in your circle that you cannot bear for their such nature. While I would recommend you to give this a second thought because that person may truly require your attention and company, I wouldn't also suggest keeping them around yourself and treating them in obvious ways that may hurt them more. It's not about them, it's about you, maybe you're not the person who has the patience and temperament to keep up with any individual who demands more from you. You could still let them tag along and even without saying a word continuously hurt their feelings by making them feel different. If you can genuinely help such people, that would be the best thing to do, but if you cannot, silently back-off. It's best for them because they may now be able to find support in someone who can deal with them in a much better way. And it'll be best for you because you will be able to let someone go off without driving a wedge between you two.

Fabulist
It's self-explanatory, this person is the one whose whole life itself could be a lie too. This person has severe sincerity issues and as obvious as it can be, isn't someone you can count on. If you can picture a person while you read this, it's pretty obvious that you know the fabulist in your group, but either you don't want to loose them or you are just never prepared to confront them about this. It's not important to know what sort of a falsifier this person is, the fact that they can casually throw in a bunch of lies in the most random conversations tells a lot about their abilities that may not be the best to have. Their lies may even seem harmless to you, but what is truly harmful isn't the lie, but the fact that they can so easily pull off one. So before you get scammed unknowingly, it's better you walk away knowingly.

Migraine
This last category is my way of describing anyone you cannot absolutely. By now you maybe judging be for being cynical, short-tempered, demanding, non-cooperative...to be honest I cannot blame you. Throughout this piece I have been asking you to rid your life of certain types of people, quite possible that by now you must be laughing and already be prepared to question if I even have any friends of my own. As a matter of fact I have ample. And to be honest I have pretty much lead a number of people out of my lives who have belonged to these categories. But these categories are mine and yours may be different. So in this last category I'm pretty much asking you to show the door to anyone whose presence you just cannot absolutely stand, your reasons may be completely different from anything I have described above but it is high time that you just do it.

But before I leave, let's sum up the two reasons behind making you do this whole activity above. Look at the list of names in your hand. These are some of the people that have made your life unpleasant enough that you actually put their name down on that piece of paper just because of a stranger urging you to get rid of certain types of people from your life. Certainly something has bothered you to that extent in your bond with them that you are prepared to do so. Isn't it best to then refresh your social circle with a new kick-start. Bidding farewell to them may not be totally bad after-all, free yourself of those negative energies. And hey I didn't ask you to physically kick someone out of your life, times change, people too. What may be an unfavorable bond to keep today, may be a good one to rekindle friendship with down the lane, you never know what life has in store for you. Secondly, pretty sure you thought of a lot more names in your head than you put down on that piece of paper. You mentally jotted down many more and then crossed them out because despite all those differences and issues, some people mean much more to you than those things you have a tough time settling for. Maybe those are the people you need to have an honest conversation with and figure out a way off that tight rope, on their side or on your side, whatever suits you both.

Signing off on a happy and hopeful note. Find your inner peace with the people that matter the most to you. Happy holidays y'all!

To the Auntie on Mission Rishta-Appropriate

Why does everyone have to remind you about what they think about your body like its a public service message?
Why are people so bent upon reminding you that you don't fit their ideal standards?
I honestly don't care Auntie if that pimple on my face, that natural eyebrow, the colour of my skin or my extra round curvy figure hurts you, because it shouldn't.
I honestly don't care Auntie if you think I'm never going to find someone because believe me if I have to find someone as judgmental as you, I'm better of being single for life.
I honestly don't care Auntie if you feel I'm not "lady-like", because guess what, I wasn't born to live up-to your expectations. My wild laugh, my casual dressing, my wake-up face, my competitiveness...is what I'd prefer someone to fall for, not the fake ideal you want me to present.
You know Auntie I don't care if you think I will only find a life partner if I learn to cook, because I'm not looking for someone who adores my skills as a chef, I'm looking for someone who adores me for being myself.
I honestly don't care Auntie if you think I should wax more often, because guess what I'm not blonde and no matter how often I do so, those tiny black strands will still make you cringe as if they're piercing through your ski instead.
I honestly don't care Auntie if you think I'm way too curvy, because guess what I know that too. And even though I'm also trying to live a more healthy lifestyle, those extra pounds don't bother me enough to be the biggest thing on my mind.
I honestly don't care Auntie if you think being an ambitious girl makes me less of a woman, because guess what Auntie, unlike you I want to define myself on my own, not leave myself to be defined by stereotypes.

And now Auntie please don't turn to my brother and begin the same old rant.
Don't tell him that being arrogant and insensitive will define his manhood, because that defines being a jerk.
Don't expect him to boss everyone around, because believe me you don't but most people appreciate humanity, chivalry and care, and so does he.
Don't expect him to have an ideal muscular body, because he's strong enough to still be there for others and that's what truly matters, not the size of his biceps.
Don't begin your rant about how he should like a hero, because guess what Auntie when he cares for and protects those close to his heart, he already becomes a hero for them. Your materialistic definition is useless.
Don't tell him that he'll never find a girl until he's "well-established" because he wants to build a life with his life partner, not stage a setup to have someone enter his life.
Don't tell him that men aren't supposed to be emotional, because men are humans bound to feel too, stop forcing him to shove of his sensitiveness in a corner. If he doesn't feel, he wouldn't realize, and then he'll only hurt others like you do with your words.
Don't tell him to overpower women, because he loves all the women in his life and wants to be there for them forever, he isn't numb and callous like you.

Just leave us alone Auntie, stop forcing us to be Rishta-Appropriate.
Companionship is a beautiful part of everyone's life, but not the goal, and certainly not at the cost of loosing their self in the battle to fit in your "society's standards".

Believe, Act, Alter and Change.

If you really want to empower women?
You want them to get their rights?
You wish that an end should come to this gender inequality?

If you're a guy, honestly leave them alone. Let them live their lives and they will we more protected then you can imagine. Stop overpowering them and you wouldn't have to worry about empowering them. Lower your gaze and believe me they'll never have to face sexual abuse. Stop considering them as an object and start considering them as a human being and come to terms with the fact that you're no one to guard them, God is present there to protect his people.

If you're a woman and you believe you deserve all this, start considering the fact that every woman around you too deserves this. Respect other women and teach your children, your brothers and if you're a teacher even your students to do the same. Today you may be a young girl but tomorrow you'll be a mother and believe me if you educate your son to let women live their lives, his wife, his female colleagues, cousins, friends, his sisters, any random woman he interacts with everyday and even his own daughter will feel safe.

This women's day, simply don't claim that you support women and feminist campaigns. Change your beliefs, alter your actions and believe me the world will change itself. Your individual action will itself bring about a global change.

And last but not least learn to differentiate between a movement for women's equal rights, and a movement designed to unjustly switch the patriarchal society to a matriarchal one. Learn to differentiate between a feminist and a feminazi, they're NOT the same people, they DON'T fight for the same thing.

PSL 2017, A False Ray of Hope or A New Beginning

So Imran Khan aka our dearest IK from PTI passed a remark about the type of foreign players who showed up the PSL Final 2017 held in Lahore on the 5th of March.

For anyone who hasn't had a chance of viewing the clip scroll down this article to find the link:
http://www.mangobaaz.com/dear-imran-khan-please-keep-your-racist-remarks-to-yourself/

(courtesy Mangobaaz)

With all due respect towards the legend I found this to be a highly discriminatory remark. Utterly disappointed in his approach towards this matter.

It's not about the sort of foreign players who showed up, it's about the fact that they chose to show up despite all the threats. Claiming that they came to Lahore because they were of low calibre or that they came for money is discriminatory in itself, especially towards the fact that these players showed the world international cricket could come back home.

Half of the world believes we live in a war zone. Literally half of the people I've come across outside Pakistan ask me if it's safe to live in Pakistan, how come I'm alive after living in there till now...my answer of course is a recognition of the reality of threats, an explanation of the actual situation through a citizen's point of view which they aren't aware of and an optimistic approach based on how the situation has somehow improved over the years. For anyone who disagrees with me over the last part should recall the impact of operation Zarb-e-Azb and the situation of our country prior to that.

I'm not saying their choice to come is going to change beliefs overnight, but it was a positive step, it should be appreciated, the players shouldn't be demeaned.

As for those who didn't show up we respect their right of choice. But at this time when most of the people equate our situation to the situation of Iraq and Aleppo (earlier), we need to show them that yes we're still fighting a battle against terror, but no we aren't going to end up like other nations/places because our Forces haven't given up on securing our public. Yes we have, are and might still be victims of terrorism in the near future, but we have, are and will keep trying to change the situation. Till then recognise us as victims, not a country completely plunging into decline or heading towards vanishing from the face of the earth.

With that I respect the legend for everything that he has or is doing for our country, but I do strongly believe that every player who chose to show up deserves more respect than this.