A Comprehensive Glance — Mental Heath (Research — Pt 1.1)

Over the course of time, in the past two centuries, the manner in which cases of mental illnesses have been reported and dealt with has changed a great deal. One of the most renowned cases and perhaps one of the most important ones too has been of Mary Lamb.

In 1976, in a fit of rage, after committing the murder of her own mother, Mary’s condition was declared as lunacy, and the only breadwinner of the poor family was then immediately sent to a madhouse. Before the incident took place the family had already gone weary of her condition which is why Mary’s brother also intended to consult a doctor in this regard. But before anything could have been done, the night of September 21 1796, Mary had attacked and killed her mother also inflicting wounds on her father John Lamb. Mary was not incarcerated and held accountable for her actions, the common law of the country had no regulations for someone having any medical illness. (Appignanesi, pp 13-49)

Given the same incident took place in the current day, not only would the murderer be held accountable but be found in a psychiatric ward, being treated for the mental illness, rather than being merely confined in a madhouse like Mary was. Mary faced a problem of recurring attacks of her mental condition. She made several visits to and stayed in the madhouses, both public and private, whenever she or her brother sensed her illness coming back. She was aware of her condition and chose to go back in retreat and confinement every time she sensed she could become a danger for others. Mary still lived through periods of considerable sanity, during which she assisted her brother on many literary works. One would assume that despite the violent attack she made, Mary was not all that insane after all. There were a number of reasons identified as being responsible for Mary’s condition, one of the most important ones being her troubled childhood, lack of love she received from her mother. Given that it seems right to say Mary required the attention and love her brother chose to give her by keeping her close to himself, by looking after her on his own. His methods did work, gave fruitful results, her literary works and the last few years she spent in good condition even after her brother’s death, seem to serve as an evidence.

But here the question seems to be if keeping her among the public was a right decision or not, someone else too could be killed at her hands. Madhouses of that time had no form of proper diagnoses, let alone treatment, confinement only helped keep her away. But what if things went wrong while Mary was living with Charles?

51 years old Lisa Caplan of Palmerton, had been already diagnosed of suffering from mental illnesses, had been taken into psychiatric facility too. But after the last time she was released, late last year she killed her own mother. It was reported that this was the medical negligence of the psychiatric facility, and it was also true that even though Lisa had a history of mental illnesses, nothing of such a nature had happened. (Michlowski)

From a broader comparison it seems that both Mary and Lisa faced the problem of a recurring illness, were often led out of and led back in to an area away from their households, but Mary didn’t even receive any form of treatment while Lisa did. Yet one in an aggravated state killed her mother while the other already had and was not charged guilty. But given like Lisa Mary too could be released at a time when she shouldn’t have been, was it really right after all to release Mary or will it be to release anyone else in today’s times? What standards have we set to judge whether a person is cured and safe to be let out of constant medical observation facilities? In Mary’s times diagnostic facilities may not have been up-to the mark, but are the treatments of today that focus less on logical deduction and more on prescribing pills better in this regard? It is true that we cannot chain down anyone in any psychiatric facility forever, they come here for treatments not as a punishment to be sentenced to life imprisonment. But doesn’t that call more critical analysis of the patient’s condition? Medical negligence can be reported, but are we learning anything from the history of such cases? What should be our course of action and how should we proceed with it still remains an important question. But first it is vital to acknowledge that our diagnostic techniques, treatments and facilities have improved, but not enough. There is still much room of improvement and much work to be done before we can reach a satisfactory status regarding understanding, diagnosing and treating mental illnesses. Our purpose is treatment and rehabilitation, not confinement. But with that we can certainly not take risks on other human lives too, blindly. There is a need to revisit and reanalyze our forms of treatments and judgments associated with mental illnesses.

Works Cited

Appignanesi, Lisa. Mad, Bad and Sad: a History of Women and the Mind Doctors from 1800 to the Present. Virago, 2010. pp 13-49

Michlowski, Bill. “Attorney: Daughter Accused of Killing Mother with Crossbow Has 'Long-Standing History' of Mental Illness.” WNEP.com, WNEP, 30 Sept. 2017, wnep.com/2017/09/30/attorney-daughter-accused-of-killing-mother-with-crossbow-has-long-standing-history-of-mental-illness/.

Mess

You were a mess
But the most beautiful mess
A tad bit of grumpy
And a tonne of distress
The wildest of storms
But so soft that I’d want to caress
Maybe even if in a corner I supress
Lock away all that was felt by either
With me your glares and glances
Still tend to play a game of chess
Each one of your moves I carefully assess
Pondering what goes on in that mind of yours
Soul so subtly simple, emotions so simply subtle
But with the courage of a tigress
I was the one who wanted to checkmate you
Now look I’m the one left in a mess

Healing

And those who were hurt
Know how to heal
With a tender touch
Each wound they seal
And those who were hurt
Know how to feel
How tough it is to forget
Each memory they peel
And those who were hurt
Know how to deal
With all that is fake
And all that is real
They know more than you think
More than in what you believe
From most of the things
A deeper meaning they perceive
So let those who were hurt
Walk into your life tomorrow
Let it be a new morning for you
Let them take away your sorrow
You think no-one gets you
And yet at least they do
Learn to grasp another hand
Even if you trust a few

To a Decade of Escapades

Tracing tracks with the tips of shoes, twirling through twisted pathways, tightly clutching onto a satchel full of books. We wandered down new alleys whilst whispering to ourselves a thousand dreams, formulated and deconstructed several times on the way. The ways kept winding and in those spirals we still managed to find ourselves somehow. Maybe it was losing ourselves after all, that truly led to figuring out who we really wanted to be. Maybe it was letting go off firmly held beliefs and ideals, that led to exploring horizons beyond our perceived limits.

To the millennials that are now welcoming the third major decade change in their lives, we are stepping into a crucial phase. Building a career, starting a family or settling down with already laid out foundations, the next decade holds a lot for us. The person you are, looking forward to 2020, is completely different from the kid or adolescent with their whole lives in front of them as an unexplored adventure. The person you will be stepping into 2030 will be far from what you may have ever planned. But in this decade between these two milestones, don't forget to cherish life and its little things. Don't lose touch with who you are at the core, your dreams and aspirations are all worth still being explored. They may be the same or have altered several times on the way, and may continue to do so. Regardless, don't lose yourself on the way to building a future.

A decade ago, we began a journey of our own but shared uncountable ones with others. Intertwined hands with several and lost touch with many on the way. This past decade has built us, brought us down, taught us to rise up again and keep moving forward. So take along with yourself every bit of it that has encouraged you to grow.

It was never an easy journey and neither shall the following one be. But that is life and so take it all as a challenge. To broken trust and to built up bonds, to shattered dreams and to outshining all, to every frown and and to jolting back up each time you were brought down...let it all be a guide and a reminder that you are stronger than you believe.

I don't know who needs to hear this. But if you weren't in the best place this past decade, the fact that you are on the brink of starting a new one, already signifies your strength. Just hang in there. You survived. In the end, that is all that matters. In the end the very fact that you have battled with time, fate and even yourself certifies that you have not learnt to give up on life, and yourself. So just believe in yourself that you can continue putting up with every curve ball thrown your way, as long as you don't let go off the string of hope.

___________________________________________


To the people who completed this decade alongside me, thank you for hanging in there all along.
To the ones who left before the next mark, thank you for the fond memories we still shared and for the lessons you taught and left me with
To those who joined in on the way, our journeys together may be short but you chose to walk in when you were trapped in your own thoughts, trials and troubles...so thank you. May this last longer than either of us ever thought.
To those who I may cross paths with in the future, may our interactions be pleasing and worth it.
To all those I have ever known, may life bless you with the best. May you learn something new each day and may it shape you to evolve into becoming the best version of yourself.

Happy 2020 everyone!

Rest in Pieces

Our society talks about mental health when someone passes away.
We encourage people to have a conversation about how they’re feeling.
But when they do, we tell them they need to grow up.
No not in an empathetic or sympathetic way.
We tell them they need to stop thinking.
We downplay their struggles, make fun of their troubles.
We reiterate that to be insecure is to be weak.
We remind them that being happy and optimistic should be the goal so if they aren’t able to pursue it, it’s because they’re just not trying hard enough.
We push them to believe they are just not thankful enough about the little things in life.

And then we say “inna lilah wa inna alihay rajioun”.
[ trans: "Indeed, to God we belong and to God we shall return.” ]
And then we want to know their story.
And then we want them to have felt loved and appreciated.
And then we say we wish we could have done something.

We don’t.
We type away, “...hey if you need to talk to someone, I’m here...”

But we never mean it.

We agree because it's just a few words we're putting out there.

But we are not open to the thought having to do that.

And even if were genuinely concerned and not insensitive, we forget that dealing with someone such requires a lot more than just pure intent. Above all it requires patience and care.

The endless saga of brown people failing to comprehend mental health and concerns associated with it.

————————-

If you are someone going through something, please approach people who have struggles of their own. They might not be in the right state of mind to get involved in your troubles.
But if they are, they’re really the only ones who will genuinely understand you, or at least make an effort to do so.

Falling

I fall in love with

Melodies and music

Chirping birds at dawn

With deep blue skies

Or with night lights 

As stars that shone

Brighter than smiles

I ever got to see

Maybe in the name of it all

Moon shall be my company

So moonchild what is it

That you seek after all

In this world so big

And hearts so small

Maybe just maybe

Solitude is my solace

Maybe just maybe

I’m finally loving this pace

That haunted me for years

Is now an eternity I long

Of being away and alone

So no-one hears that song

Playing on the radio

Are the beats of my heart

Tiny twisted tales

Of all those little starts

That were made to

Escape silence and grief

Maybe this is what was needed

Maybe this is true relief

Better than deserted

To opt to be on your own

Maybe this is what they call

To have finally grown

You accept the shadows

Not with spite but open arms

For in giggles and glitter

May not lie all charms

So let me hold onto

Well nothing after all

Let me cut all strings

And end all calls

Sink deeper into silence

Drive further than before

For it may be worth it

With even the feet sore

Let’s chase away ourselves

Until we’ve nothing to hold

Let go of it all we said we needed

Lies we ourselves told

We just needed to learn to

Accept it all without believing

That this could be the worst

Accept stranded as the company

That could quench the thirst

For homes and holy hearts

Let’s setup a new fence

Relax in the very place

That once left us tense

Accept that everything goes

Even if much didn’t come

Be glad you at least were

Able to find some

But now it’s time to

Finally move on

Dance to melancholy

As you see it all gone

Maybe this was it

Losing everything to gain

A lesson or two or infinite

In exchange for a bit of pain

At least next when it happens

When someone leaves you alone

You wouldn’t be surprised

Maybe finally you’d grown

To learn the truth of the world

That it was right to fall for everything

Except people weren’t worth it all

So fall for fiction and nature

Enough it is love, even if small.

Inspiration:

Conversations With A Stranger

This post is for anyone and everyone who is in any capacity concerned about mental health issues. It'll take you a while to read but I have a few thoughts I'd like to share. Pause or scroll away, whatever you wish.

If you've known me for a while, you would be well aware of the fact that I'm pretty vocal about certain topics, mental health is one. I gladly engage in discussion relevant to it and I'm definitely not a certified counselor, but I'm always open to conversation with people who feel the need to speak to someone. Through my own experience, sometimes a conversation is vital to keep you sane. I promise complete confidentiality in such cases, and whether we know each other in a personal capacity or not, I respect their privacy.

I recently had a conversation with someone. Bearing in mind that I would not like to reveal their identity in any capacity, I'm only here to tell you somethings I picked up upon. This isn't the first time, but this time something was so different that I found the need to talk about this.

The said person and I both are brown. And really they don't know me much at all. This is the first time I've had someone open up to me like this, given we barely know each other, almost strangers. But they knew I was all ears for anyone who needed someone to listen to them, so they hit me up. Usually we prefer to confide in someone close to us. But the reason they opted to talk to me (almost a stranger to them) was because the people closest to them have pretty harshly rejected conversation. This is the red flag. They trusted a stranger over the people close to them, because they didn't get support rather faced sheer criticism.

Mental health is still very much stigmatized in our society. Since it refuses to accept that these problems exist, most of the people going through any such situation have no medical record to support their condition. Brown people refuse to acknowledge anything unless there's documentation for it and of course they also have a tendency to blame people for their problems. That's exactly what happened with this person too. Our society easily blames people for even their physical misfortunes, then given it's not ready to acknowledge mental health issues, it's way worse. Additionally, since more young people are coming out and being vocal about mental health, most of us get labeled as attention seekers who are just overthinking and exaggerating things out of proportion. Now this is not to say I'm blind to the fact that people can fake things, but really telling that to everyone doesn't help you identify if their problem is real or like you'd prefer believing in, they're "faking it".

It's true that counseling should help you and yes you should consult a professional. But in my own experience I was present at such a session with someone very dear to me. I don't think our brown society is ready to have this conversation even when one of the person involved is a psychologist or counselor. I was astonished with the way I saw the psychologist do the same thing every other person would do outside their clinic, blame the sufferer for their suffering. Personally, I don't mean to generalize and say that's how all professionals are and so you shouldn't consult them at all. No, please go see one if it can help you. But after that experience, I don't think I'll be comfortable with the thought of ever paying a visit to one, at least back home. This horrendous experience I witnessed was at a very renowned hospital in the capital so that's enough to scare me away from even imagining what happens in other places.

Now the person who contacted me did so 1) because the people around them only chose to play the blamegame 2) they're afraid to have this conversation with their parents knowing they'll have a similar reaction 3) they found it easier to talk to someone who was open to mental health conversations, even if just a stranger.

On top of that, they're a psychology student themselves. Not only did the person they talk to blame them for exaggerating things but also blamed their education for it. They ended up in such a situation where it honestly hurt to read the texts they were sending to me. They were not in a good place and thanks to this uncooperative attitude they had to experience, they were doubting their own sanity. I really am of no help at all. I've no knowledge regarding helping anyone in such a scenario. But the 15 minutes we spent talking, they left off relieved with the thought that they shouldn't be afraid to seek help, they just need to talk to people who could listen to them without hurting them further. I've made absolutely no difference in their life, and I cannot. Really no-one can. Brown people treat everything as if it has a cure, cure it and move on. That really isn't how mental health issues are. It's not a mathematical sum that has a solution and yep you found x so end up of conversation. More often than not, it's all recurring too. As a society we need to understand that no-one wants to live a miserable life. Believe me everyone wants their problems to end. But mental health isn't something like cold or flu, so stop treating it like that. Encourage people by saying things will get better but don't expect them to wake up in the morning and go like that's it, my depression is cured and I'll never be stressed out again.

This individual sought comfort in talking to a stranger. And they're very young. I'm glad that they spoke to me because they knew they needed to. They needed someone to encourage them without making them feel pathetic for asking for help. But please, please be more understanding towards the people around you. If they don't want to open up-to you, respect that. If they wish to open up-to you, please be more welcoming. Do not push them away. Do not drive them towards self-doubt. Not everyone will choose to try talking to someone else instead. And I don't even want to imagine the consequences of shutting everyone out. Nothing kills you more than being in that situation and being on your own. Please don't show your concern for mental health as just a topic. Please be considerate to those around you who are going through such things. This place is not one to preach and I don't expect to really be contributing towards making a difference by just talking about it. So that's exactly what I don't do, I don't post stuff here and assume my contribution ends there. I remember these things when I'm around people, where my actions actually make a difference. If you're reading this, I just hope you remember these things the next time you're in a capacity to influence someone's life by merely use of words.