Rethink 0011

I don't know about the ten year challenge but everyone around the globe just collectively slayed at the ten year freedom of speech challenge.

It went all the way from asking for the right to express your point of view to using that right to say literally anything in the name of freedom of speech.

I'm all for democracy and breaking stereotypes but sometimes people just forget we're human's in the end. Love calling yourself the superior creation? Well yes use that brain every once in a while too.

It's wonderful to put your point forward, even if it's against the majority's one. But clearly we're forgetting that being too afraid to say anything, being politically correct, being respectful and being straight up rude aren't the same. Break those shackles, stand up against things, but you can do all that with putting some effort into how you plan to do so.

A random outburst of pathetic sarcasm will not help you prove anything. Even if no-one agrees with your logic, at least try to present a logical point. Back it by whatever you believe in. It's okay if we don't believe in the same thing but at least you would have put some thought into what you're uttering, that alone is worthy of earning respect.

The 20 Things to Fall in Love with Before Turning 21

20. The number that demarks a rite of passage in our lives. The end of teenage, and the beginning of adulthood. But there's a lot more than just this that the number 20 brings in your life, including the lesson to love. So before this 20th year ends look back at all you have, all that you loved in your life and all that you haven't. But wait. Before you go into your own flashback, let me take you through a journey in my one. Let me enlist the 20 things I believe deserve to be on this list. I too chose to look back at them last year when my 20th one was just ending and spent the rest of the time to date pondering upon how and why I should have learnt to love all these things by now. No I'm not guiding you to start falling in love with the opposite gender! We'll come back to that one later. For starters, let's have a look at some other things.

1 - Yourself
I'm asking you to love the person you see in that mirror everyday, the person you see, but never how you should. Look at that person just how you wish someday someone else looks at them. Life isn't a piece of cake for anyone, but it becomes a living hell for anyone who cannot learn to love themselves. The entire world will never be nice to you. There will be people around you on the look out to pull you down. There will be people out there who may not have anything against you, but they will still hurt you because it's their favorite pass time. Sometimes you would feel that every person around you is fake or greedy and has nothing to do with you. Sometimes you will feel no-one cares. But when no-one cares then to survive someone must, and that someone has to be you. Love yourself. No matter what people tell you, know your worth. Never doubt it, it is what makes you YOU. And if you doubt your own worth then who are you? Someone who's loosing their own identity.

2 - Your body
When you looked into that mirror, I'm sure there were 101 things you noticed about yourself. You judged your own self for how you look. If you judged yourself to not look like someone else, you need to re-evaluate your thought process. Be comfortable in your own skin. Don't let some materialistic standards leave you complexed. You are beautiful, tell that to yourself every morning you wake up. How you look should be based on your choice, not so that you can conform to some standards. If you love your curves, don't tell yourself you need to go on a diet. If you love your skinny arms, don't tell yourself you need to put on some weight. If you love your skin, don't tell yourself a shade-card defines your worth. If you love your acne, don't tell yourself your skin isn't beautiful. And if you don't like something about yourself, I'm not telling you one can't change it. I'm telling you just not to change it for someone else. This is your body, love it for what it is. And if you don't, you can make your own decision to look more pleasable to yourself, but don't do that for what people say. If you like to stick with how you look, or you wish to change it a bit, either ways, love your body. Don't let someone make you feel guilty for not wanting to change yourself, and don't let someone be the cause of you wanting to change yourself.

3 - Haters
Who said you were born to please everyone? Don't we all have a few people in our lives who just absolutely hate us? We do. And what should we do with them? Let them effect our lives, or react in the same way they behave? Neither. Don't let those haters make you hate your own self, but then don't hate them either. Some people have a lesser share of the love that they can spread to others. Maybe they're just one of them too. Love them for each time they hate you. Their little share of love that they can spread to people, might just multiply with your one, to spread more love in this world. Let the love in your heart, and the one hidden in theirs, reproduce to spread more love in their lives, and through them in the lives of others.

4 - Your weaknesses
We're all weak in one way or the other. Who said anyone of us could ever be perfect? People shall label these weaknesses as your flaws, but you should make these weaknesses your strengths. There's no better way to do this than embracing them, accepting them, and loving them. They are a part of you, a part of you that may not be the best. But to hate them is to let them overpower your life, so much that they begin to weaken your strengths too. Love your weaknesses because they always give you something to work on, something worth striving for.

5 - Beauty
We all love beauty. Don't we? Then why would I state it here? I stated it here because of two reasons. Sometimes we are at a tough stage in our lives, all we see around us is the darkness that we find engulfing our souls. An eye that appreciates beauty even when it's full of tears, can be able to strengthen it's keeper, the body it belongs too, even in the toughest times. So love the beauty that surrounds you, it has the power to re-energize your soul when nothing else can. But then there is another reason to state this too. Almost all of us admire beauty, but very few really appreciate it. If someone else is the reason behind that beauty, appreciate them. You might just make their day, spreading a lot more love than you may have intended to.

6 - Opportunities
In life's toughest times, there is something we always forget, the opportunities we had. All we choose to look at is what we are currently going through. Learn to love your opportunities, even after they are over. Love them and remember them forever. They are the reasons you may have experienced some of the most beautiful things in your life. Opportunities don't only give us fruitful results, they serve as a chance to learn something new. The benefit generated from these opportunities can be both temporary and permanent, but the latter is a timeless asset.

7 - Hardships
Who in the world would ever choose to love their own hardships? No sane person would. That is probably what you are thinking, thinking this person is blabbering utter crap. No I'm not. Just give it a second thought. Reconsider why would I even ask you to fall for your own problems? I would ask you to do so because each hardship means a lesson learnt in the end. Each hardship may leave you depressed at the moment, but later when you look back at what you have gone through with a positive approach, you will realize all that this time has taught you, all that which would encourage and enlighten you, about dealing with an expectant issues in the future. Your hardships, your troubles, all enable you to learn, grow and evolve. So the next time you face a similar circumstance it is easier to wind your head around the fact that life is testing you again. You are more mentally prepared to face the challenge which already solves a third of your problem, because the moment you take a step ahead with the unwavering intent to step back, you have already conquered your fears and apprehensions. Without those in your path, it is much easier to focus your mind on analyzing the problem at hand, figuring out a solution, devising a strategy and finally putting an end to the issue.

8 - Your demons
Don't worry, I'm not urging you to embrace satanism or preach wickedness. I preach optimism, but sometimes it is vital to understand your demons too. By asking you to love your demons I certainly don't demand you to let the evil flourish. There's a little bit of negativity that exists in all of us. It's existence is vital in our lives for us to able to walk away, deject and move on from the people and circumstances that endanger our existence, our happiness. But other than that it is vital to love your demons so that the charisma of their negativity doesn't surpass the safe level. Love them enough to let them exist in your world, but not enough to shatter it. Your demons can be destructive but their existence is inescapable and inevitable. When rightfully put to use this evil energy can enable you to combat and defeat evil itself, so tame your demons, love your demons.

9 - Peace
Aren't we all peace lovers? At least most of us would claim to be so. And probably everyone reading this definitely belongs to either of the two categories. Pretty sure that is exactly what you are wondering while mentally judging me for stating another obvious fact. Well it isn't as you may believe. We all wage our own wars, but sometimes those battles push us till the point that our anger overpowers our angst in such ways that we begin to torture not only ourselves but others. When the mind is overpowered by such emotions, we are recommended to admire positivity, meditate or even perform a kind act. All this can help one cool their mind. But all this isn't effective just out of the blue. One needs to be acceptive of and in love with the concept of peace, enough that these two things push one into dealing with the chaotic situation one may be in, to result in a more peaceful situation and state of mind.

10 - Scars
Life is a battle and your scars are your battle wounds. They represent all the wars you've waged and survived, even if not successfully won. Those defeats too represent another battle you might have won, because you're still sane and willing to face another challenge. You've not stumbled, you're still steadily approaching your future and what all lies ahead despite the fears at the back of your mind. The fears that are like the shards of the glass of memories, small bits of them that inflict nothing but pain. You're ready to overlook all that has happened in the past and move on and ahead. But the only way you will be prepared for all this, to take on a new battle and not run away from the battlefield but run for your weapons hope, faith and steadfastness, is if you fall for yours scars. If you learn to love them for the fact that they prove you can exit that battleground winning in at least one way or the other, then only will you be mentally prepared to put yourself through another test.

11 - The ones scarred
It isn't easy to love yourself after all that you may have faced in life, because it is quite likely that you fall for the existence of the "unlucky" and "cursed" labels. But the challenge is to not fall in that trap. It is still comparatively easy to save yourself than to save another person, in fact when it comes to another person it is easier to be the perpetrator of this evil act where you yourself associate them these labels. These labels that shatter their hopes and bring them down, make them believe they are not good enough for you or in fact for anyone else's company either. The real test in this case is to leap ahead of that obstacle. The obstacle that once crossed can set you free from tendencies to judge someone else. To judge someone for what they have faced, but may or may not have absolute control over protecting themselves from. They may have not had their armor on but now you could be the one taking their shield away. One don't always need someone to fight their battle for them, maybe they don't either. Maybe all they need is someone to give them a hand and help them stand up again, all with just a smile and a warm heart.

12 - Justice
This may just sound pretty odd when read first. But the fact is, yes we do all love justice for ourselves, not necessarily justice in general. The first type in that case generates personal benefits, so the appreciation of a just system is indeed quite obviously an approach all of us would favor. But the real challenge is to love justice as just a concept. No-one is ever a saint or a heavenly being, we all make our mistakes and deserve our fair share of punishments, just like we expect one out of the rewards. The real deal is to love justice irregardless of the circumstances, the benefit, the benefactor and the beneficiary. To love it unconditionally is to appreciate the true beauty of justice.

13 - Change
Everything evolves overtime, change is an inevitable part of life. It effects our life whether we approve of the altering situations and circumstances or not. But some of us still lag behind in accepting change. Potentially we've no way to elope from this phenomenon, but the lack of willingness in embracing it effects both our approach and actions. When one begins to take in the instability positively they are likely to be more mentally prepared for expecting the unexpected. This not only enables them to encounter ruckus in life without panicking, but also prepares them in a way that they embrace uncertainties and yet remain determined towards their goals.

13 - Sunshine
Sunshine is often represented as a means of provision of energy or sustenance for life on planet earth. It also tends to signify power, strength or new beginnings. But excessive exposure to the same sunshine has detrimental effects on mankind too. Your source of vitamin D is a cause of cancer too. To love sunshine is a tricky affair, it's a matter of striking a balance between your emotions for anything that both benefits and harms you. Sunshine merely represents that concept. But we need to recognize that like sunshine is an escape from darkness it also has effects that can hamper us, but the solution is not to let yourself be lost in the shadows. You need to decipher and grasp the concept that it is important to let both your heart and mind take charge simultaneously, so your consciousness doesn't leave you enclosed in protective casings but the daring nature doesn't expose you to excessive dangers either. Start from loving sunshine, and then apply the same idea to everything else in life.

14 - The guilty
Every human action has an explanation, whether justified or not. The challenge is to not observe an action in isolation but to dig deeper for what lies behind it. Every psychopath has a story too. You can't overlook actions, tales tell causes. That doesn't translate to the idea that all actions should be forgiven without any questioning and without holding the perpetrator accountable for their misdeeds. But it serves a number of other purposes. You tend to place yourself in their shoes and ponder over how would your actions be effected by similar circumstances. This can allow you to probably sympathize with them or at least learn a lesson from someone else's experiences. One can be guilty, and either deserve punishment or counseling and support, knowing what they have been through can help you make a wise choice and possibly play a role in what their future could look like. It's true that we make our own choices, but sometimes we don't seem to have a lot of options either. If you know more about why something happened you can understand how it could happen in a better way. The thought process may allow you to analyze the scenario in a better way before you pass verdicts, sinful but the person may really not be guilty after all. So learn to love those your mind accuses because as long as the hate hinders your way, you will never be ready to look beyond superficial levels,

15 - Freedom
We all seem to love freedom as a concept, freedom to speak up, vote, choose etc. But the fact is we don't love freedom beyond purposes that immediately direct to personal gains in one way or the other. We tend to fear freedom. We love the liberty but with it comes a lot of responsibility, and that combination makes us doubt our feelings for this concept. We're passionate to make choices but the results they come with can sometimes hold us back, make us prefer sticking to an environment where we can still look up for what others think would be suitable for us. It's essential to look for guidance but freedom demands that our decision making process not be limited by preset options. Instead we should be able to construct own choices. So fluff out your wings and fly out of boundaries, broaden your horizons and build your life without peeking at templates. Love freedom freely, unconditionally.

16 - Interactions with strangers
Maybe you're an introvert and you tend to sink deeper into your handheld device, book, newspaper or any other possession when you are around a couple of strangers. I wouldn't force you into starting a conversation, maybe not you but maybe the other person doesn't welcome it either. But just be a more observant person and you will start to love these interactions already. Nope don't eavesdrop but instead of glancing down just look up and around. Communication is both verbal and non-verbal. Try smiling back at the kid curiously looking at you the next time you're alone in a public place. The heartfelt grin they'll return back will warm your heart, just a smile from a complete stranger. You'll then realize what I mean when I say love these mini moments you get to spend with anyone, even if they're someone you don't know at all. You just may end up making a beautiful memory if not anything else. The world s too big, don't let yourself be hidden behind screens and pages, they're real life people out there. You and your dearest friend were also absolute strangers once.

17 - Your peers
Life saps out a lot from us, you never know what one may be going through, maybe you don't even need to know or they would never want you to know that either. But learn to love everyone despite you sensing or not sensing that they need someone, not everyone's feelings are always obvious. But for all the love that may be drained out of people's lives, it doesn't hurt to randomly express some love for your peers. Like a random act of kindness, spread a little love each way you go, so if anyone is in need of some, you may still be unintentionally playing your part in making them feel loved and valued.

18 - Moments
Time is precious and often runs out. We tend to usually count our troubles more than our blessings. Maybe because we don't smile wide enough when everything seems to be just fine, but we frown every time things go wrong for us. If you learn to love every little moment and the little things in life, you will realize the dark clouds aren't chasing you always. You just don't look up enough, take a deep breath and thank nature for the spells of light showers and lambent light. Contentment just adds supplemental positive vibes in your life, making you feel better even when you feel low, because you have higher hopes of things eventually changing for the better.

19 - Life
Life delivers mystery boxes to you every now and then, without you placing any orders. You don't realize the price you pay until later. There's no guessing what in the world could it contain and how long it may take you to go through the contents. Life is unpredictable and it doesn't come with manuals, you wind your own way through it with whatever you're able to decipher on your own. It just leaves you with lessons each time, it's on you if you wish to even notice those. This is life, and there's no way out. You only live once, so love it for the way it is and be prepared for anything and everything.

20 - Literature
I had thought of switching this one's place with "Life", but to tell you the truth sometimes none of the above will make sense to you, even loving life and it's unpredictability won't be easy. But for all those times that your brain refuses to make sense out of your encounters and any choices, remember reading through what someone else may have to say might at least clear the mist if not anything more. So read, read, read and love literature. The genre doesn't matter, the setting doesn't matter, sometimes even the author doesn't. If anything matters it's the content and what you choose to take away from it. 

I counted all the way up till 20 and didn't speak of the other gender, despite saying I would come back to it later. Here's why. You're just 20, and yeah maybe you and your childhood sweetheart could have a future together too, we've all heard of some of those tales that come to be true. But there's so much more you would want to indulge in and learn before you choose to grow together and old with someone else. Till you actually find someone you would want to be with forever or what at least sounds like that, don't sink to deep in that sort of love. You're still exploring yourself, if there's anything you want to be sure of in a relationship is who you are, a person in a state of self-doubt doesn't recognize their boundaries, they could end up just making situations complex for both themselves and their partner. I'm not saying falling for all these 20 things will help you find yourself, there are so many more things for that purpose which I haven't listed. But this is just a start, so kick off this journey, and once you are confident about own progress to at least a considerable extent, then join hands with someone else, start another journey together and explore both tracks concurrently.

Memes, Mannerisms and More

Nine to five switched to dawn till post midnight. With typing paces getting as competitive as the global job market and resumes turning into a rat-race for credentials...somewhere parenting too has seemed to evolve overtime, in ways we probably hadn't even planned. Freedom of speech may be a bigger slogan, being opinionated may be more welcomed, but it seems as if our coming generations of keyboard warriors are literally turning out to be worth describing as "a man of his word", literally just word.

Humanities courses and majors may have found a place and recognition in educational institutions, but humanity itself seems to be draining from the society. With umpteen responsibilities on their shoulders, it appears as if generation x and generation y are setting new parenting precedents for generation z and the others too come. While on one hand these generations can be regarded as highly progressive with respect to those of before, some old values seem to be dying out. Probably "ancient" and worth working upon, these ideals have had a base in our world for centuries. Ideally they all require upgrades, should be adapted to fit into the greater context of the new times, while some should be discarded. But none of that is possible without a thorough analysis, unfortunately we don't seem to have time for that anymore. While this new lot of parents seems to be more engrossed in building, guiding and navigating through their children's' academic and professional careers, it is as if they have left morals to be just explained by books and those books to just rest in libraries. Our kids haven't lost the passion to read, they still have time, but whatever little is left after they schools, academies, tutoring sessions, internships, camps and more is sufficient to scroll through vague data on the internet. Page after page, chapter after chapter, running fingers on text in books all seems to be an "ordeal" of the past  The data they daily mine through is still pretty impactful, just not as well thought out and thought-provoking as it should be to keep our values at least a bit grounded.

Speaking of values, nope these aren't the long standing traditions and customs that I myself highly oppose. They're the most basic etiquettes that should be guidelines for our demeanor. These are the same ideas that form the basis of "all lives matter", "equal rights", "justice for all" and more. This society comprises of people just like you and me, these atrocities that we oppose and issues we speak up against aren't foreign bodies, they rise from within our own communities. They're recognized and discussed majorly in only one dimension, while the fact is these troubles too are multifaceted. Your child who out of "innocence" mocked about another kid in class for how he looked, a matter you let go off because "he's just a kid"...will be the same child who will judge a person for where they fall on the shade-card in future. There is no point in ranting about discrimination at work when you are raising your child to be a part of the same working community and still letting them feed onto the same ideals that don't even recognize the matter as a problem. Your son you just told to not cry like a girl and be a strong boy, will grow up to the abusive husband who counts domestic violence as only a way to tame his woman. Your kid that just pushed off another one to get a ball while you stayed mum, will feed onto the thought that one should get what they want, by hook or by crook.

This isn't a time to debate over who is responsible, the schools, the teachers, the parents, the mentors...it's time to realize being spoon-fed and being allowed to grow up independently aren't two exactly opposite things. It's time to realize that our children don't need to be tamed or completely set free, you don't need to keep a hawkish eye on them or absolutely not bother about what they do. You need to strike a balance between the extremes. Your history lessons, your religious education, your social studies course-pack  and your geographical data, is all useless if the youth isn't going to learn lessons, imply any of the knowledge and stay in their own cocoons. Yes your kid is just a kid and too young to understand, but even a baby learns to speak without even understanding the meaning of the word "language" and why it's required. Your kids store the data you input with both your words and your silence, unfortunately many come with brains that aren't rewritable like CDs either. Time is the best teacher and they will learn with time. Kids who learn to fight their own battles turn out to be the strongest individuals with constructive and adaptive thought processes. But every child isn't the same and you don't know which category your kid will belong to as an adult. But your kid is a white paper, liable to soak up dirt when left in murky waters. So instead of arguing about whether you should write yourself on the paper or not, at least bother about where it's placed. At least understand that like it is wrong for you to fill up this paper on your own, letting it get filled by someone else's ways is too. Don't turn your child into a robot, but don't allow them to be manipulated by others. Teach your child the right and wrong, by not telling them what to do but rather what would be the effects of whatever they choose to do.

Memes are usually humorous in nature but by definition and in reality they transfer behavioral and cultural elements across individuals. Seemingly harmless they can cause anyone to crack up a bit and even take a social evil very lightly for a brief moment. Humor doesn't hurt when kept in limits, but your kid can't identify the border he crosses turning his jokes into mocking attempts. Just once before you think it is okay to let kids do what they will because life should all be about experiences, place yourself in the future and think about your kid doing the same things as an adult, an adult stranger. Would you still not stop them? Also before I end this, think about the time you took an issue between your kid and another as just a kids' affair. Did you actually even listen what the problem was? Your kid may have bullied another one and for you it wouldn't have been anything, but that kid could be facing such things multiple times and this could be affecting that kid's personality. Care about more than just your kid, care about the entire generation and those to come. If it takes spending some extra time with these kids, do it. If it takes adding another course to their curriculum in primary school, do it. If it takes conducting workshops with parents, families and faculty, do it. Take my money, take my time, just do whatever it takes to prevent that hound from being formed that you will oppose on social media ten years from now. Just do it. And don't say, you don't care. But maybe you really don't... then for the social evils you oppose when adults are involved, don't show that you do, because you contribute to the formation of arrogant and ignorant individuals like the one you attempt to oppose.

Urdu Poetry — Poetic Punay

Due to certain reasons, I've decided to maintain the consistency of this blog by posting English content only.
I usually don't pen down much in my mother tongue, apart from short snippets of poetic work. I've decided to post them separately on my wattpad account instead.
This e-book version will contain any pieces I do wish to be public. New works will be added to the same place as updated parts.

https://my.w.tt/UiNb/iZSWnWhE0N

One. True. Love.

Sunk into an ocean of feelings,
As you grasped my hand,
For life suddenly seemed so colorful,
A life I'd called bland,
Knee-deep in a puddle of tears,
You'd found a lonely girl,
Screaming with joy now,
As in your grasp she twirls,
Let loose all that pulled us away,
Caught hold of all that brought us near,
To slip away shall always remain,
My biggest fear,
It is true I've longed for true love,
For someone to engulf me in an embrace,
Ever so softly wipe away,
The tears trailing down my face,
I've cried, cried my soul out,
Each time I needed someone to be there,
But I cherish that time too,
Because the wait has brought me here,
Your peck on the edge of my forehead,
And the way you glance down,
Makes me forget what I've been through,
Every tear, every single frown,
There's no better place for me to be in,
Than in your very arms,
I could give up on all for this,
That too shall do no harm.

12 Rids of Christmas

Christmas worldwide is a day of giving, both love and gifts. It marks the most awaited holiday of the year that spreads the warmth of affection and cheerfulness, as if all of people's worries are frozen inside the snow that caps their houses during this time of the year. Heading home for the vacations and cracking jokes with family and friends over dinner tables remains to be the annual tradition. So while we free ourselves of all other affairs to take some time out for ourselves and and our loved ones, this time free yourself of something more too. To be precise free yourself from the existence of certain types of people in your little jaunty worlds. Presenting the 12 Rids of Christmas, time to have you pull out your pens and pads and enlist the names you want to cross-out from your lives forever, for good.

Pessimism Pot
For obvious reasons one of the essentials of growing up is to embrace things as they come. To understand that acceptance is your only sane way out of life's misfortunes. And while most of gradually tend to let this sink in gradually, we let some "pessimism pots" stay in our lives. The distractions these people can cause with their negative approach while you yourself are still developing the positive one can mess up your thought process. So this Christmas, the first category of people you need to bid farewell to are the ones who breed in pessimistic zones.

Buck-Eater
If this friend were an animal they'd be chameleons, nope not because they constantly change their ways but because of their nature of being adept at camouflaging themselves. This is the type that stays hidden within your social circle unless some unforeseen events occur. Thus it is quite possible that you may have not identified the ones in your own till now, but the moment you do, this is the person you'd never want to keep close, unless you choose to remain vulnerable. The "buck-eater" is a kind of human pest that feeds on cash. Their standards of friendship remain as shallow as your willingness to spend on them or the ways they wish. The moment your refuse they will be the first ones to call out your name, make your existence in any social gathering miserable because your refused to let them seep into your pocket. Friends are the kind of people you love to spend on, but if this choice becomes a compulsion, then you probably need to get rid of such friends.

Getatabe-lity Seeker
We all have a friend who practically seems to always be busy, but then we all also have that friend who treats you more like their favorite pastime. The friend that seeks your attention or returns some too, only when they've nothing better to do currently. Even though understanding people's lives, schedules and priorities change is a part of the rules of adulthood, to choose to have the status of an avocation in someone's life isn't. So if you feel you're more like the Christmas sweater for them that they wear once a year, it is time you get rid of them like the Christmas tree you never bring back home next year.

Human Pendulum
It is human nature to adapt to changing circumstances. A chameleon's characteristics are not desirable in life but general adaption towards changing situations and stages in life is actually a good thing. As one grows up it is also normal to experience changes in your social circle and how you interact with these people. But what isn't normal is to be friends with someone whose life choices are more volatile than Helium. Be it your relationship with them or any other element in their life, these people refrain from commitment and runaway from the concept of loyalty. You will have the hardest time maintaining a healthy and pleasant relationship with such people. You will often find yourself questioning the bonding you two share and the dubiousness may lead to both of you sharing uneasy moments if you try to set things straight. Your only relief is to let them be and walk away on a good note with minimum possible unpleasant memories.

Relationship Rooster
So relationships for some are a stage in life and for some are like phases they go through. But for some relationships are the soul thing their life revolves around. And it doesn't matter if you're a single friend who feels lonelier when he/she spots other couples in the hood, the third wheel who is gladly single and embraces the fact with all dignity that many of his/her friends are not or you're in a healthy relationship yourself. No matter which category you belong to, a friend that basically eats, sleeps and breathes relationship conversions, belongs to the category of least productive people on planet earth. If you've better plans in life than remaining stagnant in relationship issues, you better rid yourself of the person who pulls you to that side with their insanely obsessive ways of dealing with relationships.

Bipolar
In medical terms this is an actual disorder but for some people behaving in a manner analogous to a see-saw is the usual. These indecisive people will never be completely expressive nor will leave you completely sure about the equation they share with you. The sort of relationship they will have with you will make it tough for you to ever progress, because these people are not confused, they're clear about their thoughts but they refuse to stick with one choice. They know their options and they will prefer to act tipsy and unprepared whenever they need to pick one. As time progresses they will not be afraid to jump on another stump that seems more profitable for them at that moment. So before they start to go out in search of their new safe haven, it is time you find our own new one.

Fame Freak
We all tend to seek attention from at least a handful of people in our lives. An the fact is most of these people are the ones we don't expect to be told we want this from them, but believe we should hold such a place in their lives where it tends to count as our right and their unsaid responsibility. But while seeking attention to this extent remains to be a healthy and regular matter, the one that exceeds these general boundaries turns into a lust for eyeballs, more like websites trying to work on their marketing strategies. Affiliation with this sort of a person is equivalent to making yourself liable to be deserted any moment, whenever their fame level seems to twitch. Sincerity is a word these people are least familiar with, so before they sight you as a factor effecting their popularity levels in a detrimental way, lead yourself to the exit door from their world.

Renegade
Rebelling against archaic ways is often another way of progressing. But it remains vital to understand that many times the rebellious extinct that we all develop as young teenagers does not always bear fruitful results. This is another one of that lessons that we learn growing up. But many of us fail to develop that level of stability in our behavior. Your social circle will often have that one person that is more reactive than fluorine, ever ready to jump to conclusions, pounce on others and take the most bizarre and regrettable decisions. This is the kind of person who doesn't effect you directly but their company surely can have adverse effects on your own nature. Distancing yourself from such people might be a wise choice.

Guerrilla
At some stage in life we all deal with anger management issues and to be honest we don't deserve to be deserted at that time. But if that stage is much more than just one and this attitude is probably our nature, then keeping up with us can be tough for others. And not only tough but trying to understand and be supportive towards such people can sometimes land you in their situation as you begin to grow tired of trying to lead them out of their anger bubbles. You may find yourself being more hyper than usual, loosing temper unnecessarily in social settings where you need to share space with such people. You may even tend to realize how slowly you're picking up their habits in efforts to deal with them. So before such social service turns out to be unhealthy for you, conclude that such people may never change, and if you still have issues with them remaining such, it's better you move on in life, before their characteristics begin to chase you.

Clencher
Well at least one person in our lives could describe us as clingy, but to be honest, that may not always be in a negative. But surely you would have one such person in your circle that you cannot bear for their such nature. While I would recommend you to give this a second thought because that person may truly require your attention and company, I wouldn't also suggest keeping them around yourself and treating them in obvious ways that may hurt them more. It's not about them, it's about you, maybe you're not the person who has the patience and temperament to keep up with any individual who demands more from you. You could still let them tag along and even without saying a word continuously hurt their feelings by making them feel different. If you can genuinely help such people, that would be the best thing to do, but if you cannot, silently back-off. It's best for them because they may now be able to find support in someone who can deal with them in a much better way. And it'll be best for you because you will be able to let someone go off without driving a wedge between you two.

Fabulist
It's self-explanatory, this person is the one whose whole life itself could be a lie too. This person has severe sincerity issues and as obvious as it can be, isn't someone you can count on. If you can picture a person while you read this, it's pretty obvious that you know the fabulist in your group, but either you don't want to loose them or you are just never prepared to confront them about this. It's not important to know what sort of a falsifier this person is, the fact that they can casually throw in a bunch of lies in the most random conversations tells a lot about their abilities that may not be the best to have. Their lies may even seem harmless to you, but what is truly harmful isn't the lie, but the fact that they can so easily pull off one. So before you get scammed unknowingly, it's better you walk away knowingly.

Migraine
This last category is my way of describing anyone you cannot absolutely. By now you maybe judging be for being cynical, short-tempered, demanding, non-cooperative...to be honest I cannot blame you. Throughout this piece I have been asking you to rid your life of certain types of people, quite possible that by now you must be laughing and already be prepared to question if I even have any friends of my own. As a matter of fact I have ample. And to be honest I have pretty much lead a number of people out of my lives who have belonged to these categories. But these categories are mine and yours may be different. So in this last category I'm pretty much asking you to show the door to anyone whose presence you just cannot absolutely stand, your reasons may be completely different from anything I have described above but it is high time that you just do it.

But before I leave, let's sum up the two reasons behind making you do this whole activity above. Look at the list of names in your hand. These are some of the people that have made your life unpleasant enough that you actually put their name down on that piece of paper just because of a stranger urging you to get rid of certain types of people from your life. Certainly something has bothered you to that extent in your bond with them that you are prepared to do so. Isn't it best to then refresh your social circle with a new kick-start. Bidding farewell to them may not be totally bad after-all, free yourself of those negative energies. And hey I didn't ask you to physically kick someone out of your life, times change, people too. What may be an unfavorable bond to keep today, may be a good one to rekindle friendship with down the lane, you never know what life has in store for you. Secondly, pretty sure you thought of a lot more names in your head than you put down on that piece of paper. You mentally jotted down many more and then crossed them out because despite all those differences and issues, some people mean much more to you than those things you have a tough time settling for. Maybe those are the people you need to have an honest conversation with and figure out a way off that tight rope, on their side or on your side, whatever suits you both.

Signing off on a happy and hopeful note. Find your inner peace with the people that matter the most to you. Happy holidays y'all!

To the Auntie on Mission Rishta-Appropriate

Why does everyone have to remind you about what they think about your body like its a public service message?
Why are people so bent upon reminding you that you don't fit their ideal standards?
I honestly don't care Auntie if that pimple on my face, that natural eyebrow, the colour of my skin or my extra round curvy figure hurts you, because it shouldn't.
I honestly don't care Auntie if you think I'm never going to find someone because believe me if I have to find someone as judgmental as you, I'm better of being single for life.
I honestly don't care Auntie if you feel I'm not "lady-like", because guess what, I wasn't born to live up-to your expectations. My wild laugh, my casual dressing, my wake-up face, my competitiveness...is what I'd prefer someone to fall for, not the fake ideal you want me to present.
You know Auntie I don't care if you think I will only find a life partner if I learn to cook, because I'm not looking for someone who adores my skills as a chef, I'm looking for someone who adores me for being myself.
I honestly don't care Auntie if you think I should wax more often, because guess what I'm not blonde and no matter how often I do so, those tiny black strands will still make you cringe as if they're piercing through your ski instead.
I honestly don't care Auntie if you think I'm way too curvy, because guess what I know that too. And even though I'm also trying to live a more healthy lifestyle, those extra pounds don't bother me enough to be the biggest thing on my mind.
I honestly don't care Auntie if you think being an ambitious girl makes me less of a woman, because guess what Auntie, unlike you I want to define myself on my own, not leave myself to be defined by stereotypes.

And now Auntie please don't turn to my brother and begin the same old rant.
Don't tell him that being arrogant and insensitive will define his manhood, because that defines being a jerk.
Don't expect him to boss everyone around, because believe me you don't but most people appreciate humanity, chivalry and care, and so does he.
Don't expect him to have an ideal muscular body, because he's strong enough to still be there for others and that's what truly matters, not the size of his biceps.
Don't begin your rant about how he should like a hero, because guess what Auntie when he cares for and protects those close to his heart, he already becomes a hero for them. Your materialistic definition is useless.
Don't tell him that he'll never find a girl until he's "well-established" because he wants to build a life with his life partner, not stage a setup to have someone enter his life.
Don't tell him that men aren't supposed to be emotional, because men are humans bound to feel too, stop forcing him to shove of his sensitiveness in a corner. If he doesn't feel, he wouldn't realize, and then he'll only hurt others like you do with your words.
Don't tell him to overpower women, because he loves all the women in his life and wants to be there for them forever, he isn't numb and callous like you.

Just leave us alone Auntie, stop forcing us to be Rishta-Appropriate.
Companionship is a beautiful part of everyone's life, but not the goal, and certainly not at the cost of loosing their self in the battle to fit in your "society's standards".